I was asked by some of my readers to describe exactly what happened years ago when I changed from my usual everyday life into a alternative reality and could not return. Even today, I find myself in this alternative reality, which every reader of mine describes as his normal everyday life. But for me this is another reality. And of course, I have integrated myself after all these years. I hope that I can make a clear statement about what happened back in the time…
Normally, we are often changing into alternative realities with our minds. We just do not take the body with us, and we always return to our everyday life. It does not occur to us at all that we change, because the changes of reality are so minute that nobody can notice it. For example, you look at your apartment, the desk you’re sitting on, it’s a familiar and completely everyday reality you know. From there, you can let your thoughts and imagination wander through this reality and you know which people are your friends, family or your partner. You know where you get your monthly earnings from, what movies you’ve seen, how healthy you are and who your neighbors are.
If you get up now and go to the neighbor, you enter an alternative reality, which is however very close to the usual everyday world. Even the visit of a friend activates a new reality, or rather a new sub-reality, which is part of the main or basic reality, which is the everyday life. These sub-realities are therefore always perceptible and, above all, usable, you just have to get up and move into them.
The basic reality and its sub-realities are relatively constant, and when you say good-bye to your neighbor or friend, you do not suddenly have any other clothes, wear a different hairstyle, or have a different job or if you are 10 years younger or older, etc. Due to the fact, That all realities exist simultaneously, all the alternative realities are just as active as the current everyday world. Thus, we can divide alternative realities into basic and subrealities.
This means that when I enter another subreality, it does not change the personal basic reality. In this case you can speak of an subreality – the visit to the neighbor or the visit of the friend would therefore belong to it. You could even conceptually compare the basic reality with an atom. It is the nucleus, and the neutrons, which correspond to the subrealities, move around it.
If you leave your neighbors and come home again, the interior would be changed, you would be 10 years younger or wear other clothes, you would have changed the basic reality and from then on you would be in an alternative basic reality. Maybe you suddenly live in another city or your family consists of a child more or your family is no longer present at all. All these possibilities are given, because the number of existing alternative sub-realities and basic realities are immense, like the number of possibilities available to you in everyday life – and much more.
The change from one basic reality to the next is highly unusual and can take place in a different degree. Cause for such a change can actually only a very strong and extensive dissociation or very high doses of consciousness-expanding substances or death or a so-called near- death experience. Other causes could not be considered.
In my case I dissociated over 15 minutes. Then I felt a deep red and then I lost consciousness. I could see a silent explosion and my personality split into countless parts. I knew I was dead now! When I came back to myself, I saw several realities at once, in which I all lived.
Shortly thereafter, my consciousness moved into each of these realities for several minutes. As soon as a few minutes had elapsed, I switched to the next reality. I counted 12 realities. I realized that these 12 realities were sub-realities of a greater reality. I identified these as elements of the new basic reality 2. But where was my original reality, basic reality 1, in which I had begun with the dissociation? I could no longer perceive it, it had disappeared – at least from my perspective.
So, within these sub-realities, I sought a way out to return to my usual basic reality, but it was not possible for me. In the new basic reality I was completely confused and I could recognize some subrealities, but not all of them. It took me several months until I had mastered this new basic reality a lot.
Over this time I could write an entire book of what I have experienced. In any case, the new reality was somewhat different from my usual one. My long-term partner was not there with me. We were friends, but we were not a couple anymore. I also had a full address book with many friends, but this had disappeared and the friends did not know me or I was in a completely different relationship with them. The apartment was still the same, also my establishment. The neighbor was someone else and we seemed to take sometimes.
In addition, I should mention that I had a big problem, because my memories, which I still had, belonged to my old basic reality. The new one, however, was no longer to be calculated. When I saw someone in the city that I knew, he could not be an acquaintance or even a good friend. Because of this reason, I had to wait for the other person’s action to react accordingly. Over the time, I found out what had changed. Most of my former friends were gone. My partner only a good girlfriend and my own personality somewhat more unstable than before.
At first glance, this sounds a bit like I had only been dealing with disadvantages, but there were also some abilities that I had brought along from the long dissociation and its consequences. In the new basic reality, my intuition was stronger, and I also had the ability to speak to my astral body and let it see a situation so that it could tell me what it thinks about it. My astral body never judged a situation, and showed himself only as soon as there is a good trace, which I should follow. I called this ability the “direct understanding”.
In addition, I was able to split parts of my own self and send them out to other realities to collect information. These were excellent skills that I learned quickly. Of course, there was also the fact that I had access to these other 12 realities and thus could observe all the experiences from the other realities.
Nevertheless, there were still a few disadvantages. I was just 20 years old and now looked somehow 10 years older. Besides, I could not dream lucid and could not travel astral. I had to learn these two abilities a second time. For this I needed quite a long time.
I also lacked motivation and time at the beginning, as my new realities, which I now had access to, were so full of information and experiences that I was quite busy. As soon as I was talking with another person, which in turn was one of my additional new abilities, I could perceive them in several realities and thus draw conclusions about their basic reality.
I also sometimes perceived elements from the subrealities of others that they did not perceive. This sometimes led to various misunderstandings. But I always succeeded in balancing them. I still got some other skills that amazed me.
I recognized through the many collected experiences from the other realities how this works with the creation of one’s own reality. I could also reconcile and unite the dark and the bright side in me. This gave me an additional large amount of personal strength that I learned to use in various places successfully.
In the first few months, I always dissociated completely automatically, without the fact that I had to do something for it. This was very disturbing at first, because if you are in the middle of a conversation with a person and in the next the situation was completely different, this makes you feel irritated immensely.
Thus I learned to recognize that time is an illusion and at the same time experienced how my higher self is perceiving “time”. For the higher self, time was simultaneously existent and thematically ordered. Because of this, I was no longer able to have conversations like other people normally do. That’s why I had to re-train the normal timekeeping, so that normal small talks and discussions were possible again.
In this way I learned to apply both modes of perception. So far, I have never spoken publicly about these events, and this is only a description of the content. I only mentioned parts and talked about some hints. The whole transition took about half a year and I was most of the time alone. Nowadays, I’m pretty good on managing my reality because I have arranged it in the years so that it is now even better than my old basic reality.
Moreover, with my new abilities I had been given the means to reach and shape others. In this adaptation or period of adaptation, I have made many hundreds of experiences which have shown and taught me a lot. I was once asked if I would turn back the time, and then I would not let myself be carried away so long as I was dissociating. I replied that I would do it exactly like I did it again. But this should not be done if you are not untied and in possession of a family or a longtime partner you do not want to lose. From the perspective of the partner, nothing will change if you change the basic reality, but for yourself. For this reason, I have never let my friends down, I have only no conscious access to them.
From their perspective, I will still be there in basic reality 1. So, if you use dissociation, never exceed 10 minutes. Considering that 3 minutes are enough to leave the physical body and change into the astral body, you can certainly see the power of this ability. (In my workshops, I will explain in detail how dissociation can be achieved.) If someone is so crazy and wants to change his / her present reality through a 15 minute dissociation, this person should be able to let go of everything in his lif. Your current partner, family, career, wealth, glory etc. Only those who are able to get rid of all this at any time can venture this great adventure.
For me, it is also quite obvious why Buddhist monks or other so strictly meditating people in the world talk about the need to be able to leave everything behind. They know that it can happen that you can eventually change your own reality at some point. Every human being therefore consists of two selves. One is the ego, which is an integral part of everyday life. This can not change reality, because it is it’s homeland. The second self is connected to the ego and perceives its world through its eyes. Only the second self can change the realities.
This is exactly what happened to me. I disconnected from the ego from basic reality 1 and changed into another. I’ve been searching for a long time in the literature, maybe someone else has experienced the same thing. Unfortunately I could not find anything. Only a few years later I found a book by Carlos Castaneda, which described his change of reality. The book is titled “Active Side of Infinity“. He learned from his teacher to stop the world. This was a concept very much related to dissociation. In the following, I would like to draw up an excerpt from the book in which he wrote about it:
Excerpt from “The Active Side of Infinity“, p. 335 ongoing
Quotation: […] I was sweating. I was sweaty and tired. I sat down on the bed and had very painful cramps in the calves. I rubbed the muscles for a moment. They were so tense that I feared terrible bruises. Without thinking about it, I wanted to go to the bathroom to get a liniment. But I could not go. I was dizzy, and I fell to the ground. I had never experienced this before. When I had regained a minimum of control, I realized that I was not the least worried about calf cramps anymore. I’ve always been a hypochondriac. Unusual pain in my calf, as I had it now, would have usually caused me great anxiety and confusion. […] I realized that the window was closed and it was dark outside. It was night! The air in the room was exhausted, and I opened the window. I could not understand why I had closed the window. The night air was cool and fresh. […] I did not think about it any further, went back to the bed and wanted to sleep again. I laid myself down across the bed and left my feet on the floor. I wanted to sleep in this position, to stimulate the circulation in the aching calves. But I did not know exactly whether it was better to put them down deep or put them up with a pillow. When I had found a pleasant position, and had fallen asleep again, a thought came with such indescribable force that I stood up immediately. I had jumped into an abyss in Mexico! Next, I drew a logical conclusion. Since I had jumped into the abyss to die, I now have to be a ghost. How strange that I should have returned as a ghost to my office apartment at the corner of Westwood and Wilshire in Los Angeles after I was dead. No wonder I behaved differently. But when I was a ghost, I told myself, how could I feel the fresh night air in the face or the pain in the calves? I touched the sheets. They felt very real, even the iron frame of the bed. I went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. In my appearance, I could have been a ghost. I looked terrifying. The eyes had sunk and had big black rings. I was completely dry or dead. I involuntarily drank water directly from the water pipe. I could swallow the water. I drank like I have not drunken anything for days. I felt my deep breathing. I was alive! By God, I was alive! I knew it without a doubt, but that did not give me any joy, as it should have been. I had a very unusual thought. I had once died and returned to life. […] It was more an undefined knowledge of something that had never happened and for which had no reason to push into my thoughts.
I did not doubt that I had jumped into an abyss in Mexico. I was now in my apartment in Los Angeles, almost five thousand miles from where I had jumped, and I had absolutely no memory of the return journey. […] I wanted to think calmly and reasonably about everything that had happened to me, but I could not. The thoughts seemed to have been extinguished from my consciousness. I had no more thoughts, but I was filled with emotions, which attacked my whole body like a bullet, so that I could not examine them. I could only feel the rush and let everything pass through me. But I took a conscious decision. I dressed and left the apartment. I wanted to eat something. I did this whether on day or night time, it was an old habit of mine. I then always went to the Ship’s Restaurant on Wilshire Boulevard, on the next road corner. I had gone so often from my office to the restaurant that I knew every step. This time, however, the path was new to me. I could not feel my steps. I seemed to have cushions under my feet, or the sidewalk seemed to be carpeted. I slid practically and stood suddenly in front of the restaurant, like I had only taken two or three steps. I knew I could swallow the food because I drank water in the apartment. I also knew I could speak, because I was cursing under the shower. I entered the restaurant as always. I sat down at the counter, and a waitress who knew me came to me. “You do not look good,” she said. “Do you have the flu?” “No,” I said as cheerfully as I could. “I’ve worked hard. I have not slept for twenty-four hours to write a study. By the way, what day do we have today? “She looked at her watch and gave me the date. She explained that it was a special clock with a calendar. The clock was a gift from her daughter. She also told me the time: 3:15 am. I ordered a steak and eggs, mashed potatoes, and buttered toast. When she left me to order the kitchen, I was seized with a new wave of horror. Was it perhaps only an illusion that I had jumped into the abyss in Mexico the day before at dusk? But even if the leap had been an illusion, how could I have returned from a place so remote to L. A. within ten hours? Had I slept for ten hours? Or had I flown to Los Angeles for ten hours, slipped or returned in any way? There was no doubt that I could not get to Los Angeles in the normal way from the place where I had jumped into the abyss. I would have taken two days to return from the mountain with the abyss to Mexico City.
Another strange thought came upon me. […] The continuity of my existence was irrevocably destroyed. In one way or another, I had really died at the bottom of the ravine. It was impossible to understand that I was alive and wanted to have breakfast at Ship’s. I could not look into my past and see the unbroken sequence of events we all see when we look into the past. […] I could not have imagined what I had seen at Ship’s this morning in my wildest dreams. […] At Ship’s, I integrated all the fragments of my being. In a part of my spectrum, I had acted with complete certainty and consistency, and yet I did not know how I had done that. In truth, I was a gigantic puzzle, bringing every part of this puzzle to the right place caused something for which I had no name. I sat at the bar of Ship’s and sweated violently. I made useless thoughts and compulsorily asked questions that had no answers. How could all this be possible? How could I have been so fragmented? Who are we? We are certainly not the people that other people tell us we are. I had memories of events that had never happened, as far as a core of myself was concerned. I could not even cry. “A sorcerer cries when he is fragmented,” Don Juan had once said to me. “If he’s integrated, then a shudder comes over him, which, because of his intensity, has the power to end his life.” I felt that shiver! […] I was alone. I wanted to think about it, mourn my loss. I wanted to leave myself to the satisfying melancholy, as I had always done. I could not do it. There was nothing to mourn. There was nothing to be melancholic. Nothing counted. I had jumped into an abyss, and I had not died because I had allowed myself to devour the dark sea of ??consciousness before I had reached the bottom of the ravine. I had entered it without fear or regret. That dark sea had given me all that I needed, not to die and to land in my bed in Los Angeles. Two days ago this explanation would not have explained anything to me. But at three in the morning at Ship’s, I understood everything. I hit the counter with my hand, like I would be alone in the restaurant. The people looked at me and smiled knowingly. It was indifferent to me. My thoughts revolve around an insoluble problem. I was alive even though I had jumped into an abyss ten hours ago to die. I knew that such a problem could never be solved. My normal consciousness demanded a linear explanation to be satisfied. But linear explanations were not possible. This was the point in the interruption of continuity. Don Juan said this interruption is magic. I now knew this as clearly as I could. […] At this moment, I really believed that the strange thought that had been in my thoughts, since I woke up in my bed was true. I was a complete different person. At the moment of the jump a change of person had taken place. […] I really was not the same. This thought gained strength until he filled my whole being. Every remnant of my old ego, which still existed, disappeared.
A different mood came over me. I was alone! […] I felt my body relax. I could move it again and I could breathe deeply and without any problems. I laughed loudly. It did not matter to me that the people were staring at me and not smiling this time. I was alone, and there was nothing I could do about it. I had the physical feeling to enter a path. The road had its own strength. It pulled at me. The way was silent. […] The road was a challenge for me. I had the feeling of euphoria and ease. Yes, I could go alone or with others perhaps forever on this way. It was neither a duty nor a pleasure for me. It was more than the beginning of the last hike. […] It was the beginning of a new era. I should have cried at the realization that I had found the way. But I did not. I met infinity at ship’s! How exceptional! A shiver ran down my back. […] At this moment, the back door of the restaurant, which led to the parking lot, opened. A strange guy came in. The man was perhaps in his early forties. He was unkempt and exhausted, but he looked good.i noticed this man years ago. He ran around the UCLA campus among the students. Someone told me he was a patient at the nearby Veteran’s Hospital. The man seemed mentally stable. I often saw him at Ship’s with a cup of coffee. He always sat at the same end of the bar. I also noticed how he was waiting outside the window for his favorite place to be vacated when another guest was sitting there. When the man entered the restaurant, he sat down in his usual place. Our eyes met. Then I heard him scream out a loud scream, which kind of scared me and the rest of the people in the restaurant. They all stared at me with wide eyes. A few people freezed in their movement. Obviously, they thought I had screamed. When I hit the counter with my hand and laughed loudly, I had given the conditions for such a presumption. The man jumped from his barstool and ran out of the restaurant. He turned around and stared at me, waving his hands over his head. I gave up the impulsive urge and followed him. I wanted to know who that man was, and what he had seen in me that he had to shout loudly. I got him in the parking lot and asked him why he screamed. He pushed his hands against his face and shouted louder. He was like a child who has a nightmare. He cried out of body. I left him standing and went back to the restaurant. “What was wrong with you?” asked the waitress, looking at me anxiously. “I thought you ran away without paying.” “I just wanted to talk to a friend,” I said. The waitress looked at me with much surprise and disapproval. “Is that your friend?” She asked. “He is the only friend I have in the world,” I replied. And that was the majority when I understand someone who is looking through the mask you wear and who knows where you come from. (Quotation end.)
For me, this excerpt from the book was most appropriate to describe what I had experienced. Of course, my change into the other reality was not as imposing as Castanedas, but for me it was definitely imposing. I did not have to jump into an abyss.
The long dissociation had led me to a different reality, which from that moment on, was then my new home. I could not go back. Because of this reason, I only had the opportunity to travel further. So far I have never again managed to dissociate so long.
One thing, however, has become clear to me. Everyone has once been a complete personality, like a beautifully assembled puzzle. For some reason, this puzzle was thrown apart and the selfes split up in countless aspects. I am one of those aspects, the one who writes these words. I hope I could explain in a few ways how my personal change happened.
With this knowledge, I would like to assert that every human being is connected with his own self to an ego that is here at home in this world but is not one of his own. When it is possible to reactivate its pineal gland, for example through the dissociation, you can temporarily or permanently separate yourself from this ego and attach yourself to another self. If this process is repeated more and more frequently, you will recognize the many other selves that make up the totality of the whole self. Those who become aware of the other selves and their habitats will return the totality.
~. ~
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