The Top Five Regrets of the Dying
The nurse Bronnie Ware was doing death support summed up the most said last words from all of the people who were close to their death in her book “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying“.
What do you think when you die? What do you feel?
In this manner here the 5 most spoken words of people who were dying.
The last 5 words…
The nurse Bronnie Ware explains: “For many years I worked in palliative medicine. My patients were those who were brought home to die there in peace. So many times we shared the most incredible time and I usually accompanied these patients in their last three to twelve weeks of their life. People grow over themselfes a lot when being confronted with their mortality. Some of the changes were phenomenal. Everyone first experienced a range of emotions such as denial, fear, anger, remorse, and even more denial and possibly even acceptance. But each individual patient found peace before his farewell, every single one.”
Thus, Bronnie Ware explained that she could write down the 5 most said sentences over the years, and these were:
About Courage
“I wish I had the courage to live my life in harmony with myself and not the life that others had expected of me.”
This was actually the standard sentence of the deceased, they became this insight in the state of dying. As soon as a person dies, it looks back at it’s life, because a projection into the future is no longer possible. The moment he loses his health and life energy, it is too late.
In doing so, he identifies the many dreams that he had possessed and could not fulfill. Most dying people could not realize half of their real desires, even knowing their own choices. Health also gives you the freedom to do whatever you want. It’s almost like the quote “The healthy human has many desires, the sick human only one.”
About Working for Money
“I wish I had not worked so much.”
This sentence, according to Ware, was said by every man. They missed their childhood and their partners. Women also occasionally spoke this sentence, but mostly only the older generation. All the men’s I cared for have spent too much time trying to keep their work going. If you simplify your lifestyle and make clear decisions in your life, you do not need as much money as you think. And while you create more space in your life, the happier and more open new challenges you can face.
About Feelings
“I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.”
Ware explains that many people oppress their feelings to get along with others in peace. Thus they can not really express their personality as they really are. Many of them first developed a disease because of their bitterness. She also said, that you can not control the reactions of others, but if you change the way you react, change and honestly express what you feel, you can finally build a new relationship and rise to a completely new health level.
About Friends
“I wish I would have been able to keep up the contact with my real friends.”
Ware could discover that many of the dying would have liked to have informed their close friends about it to see them one last time, but it wasn’t possible to find them anymore. Above all, they were regretting that they had simply neglected really good and deep friendships, or had ended them with vain reasons, perhaps in a fight or for other reasons. Other patients, were so tense with their lives that they had neglected the really good friendships over the years. Everyone missed these friends when they died. Also, it is normal to neglect the friendships in a life full of work, but when faced with death, all the details and kinks of life are lost. They are still trying to settle the financial affairs, if possible, but it is not money or prestige that would be important to them. The dying people would rather like to settle their relations with friends who love them. Unfortunately, they are too sick and too tired to be able to fix anything. Everything is dying together and it is all about love, relationships and deep friendships.
About Happiness
“I wish I would have let myself be more happy.”
At this point, Bronnie Ware explains that this is a very surprising sentence in the last breath of a human being. She recognizes in the end that happiness is a choice, and that you can decide on your own to be happy. People remain in their old patterns and habits, thus undermining happiness. The fruit of change caused them to pretend to themselves and others that everything was alright, although deep inside they longed to laugh more and be silly once again. If you are close to your death, it is unimportant for you, what others may think of you. How wonderful would it be if you would free yourself from it years before.
At the end of her report, Bronnie summarized:
“Life is a choice. It is your life. Choose conscious, choose wisely, choose sincerely. Choose happiness.”
Bronnie Ware is the author of her memoirs, titled “The Top Five regrets of the dying“, which is widely known and translated into 27 languages.
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