The section “Guest article” is about the experiences of the visitors of my Matrixblog. Anyone who is interested in publishing his out of body experience or his lucid dream or an exciting real experience from his everyday life in my blog, can send me a message. These can also be published in one of my books. I am looking forward to your letters.
Just in time for Christmas, Nikita, a young woman from the East of Germany, sent me her story, in which she and her close friend Anja could experience an extremely magical, mystical and true experience. Like every guest post, I let the guest himself speak and describe what happened…
“Anja and I were invited to a Samhain fire. In a cozy and also mystical kitchen with self-built shelves and huge, filled wine ballons, there were eight other people sitting in front of the fire. In this environment, I always felt like entering another world, and Anja felt the same way. Among the women in the round there was one woman, that reminded me of an old fairy. She had long, shiny, gray hair, and her blue eyes were like those of a child. I would have liked to talk to her, but she ignored me.
As everyone slowly went outside for the fire, for which a wooden tower was already built up, the fairy-woman began talking with Anja. I got to know the feeling of not being important in the current situation and so I left the room. The fire burned. The colorful flames struck high like they wanted to warm the atmosphere for us, before the cold winter would cover everything in glittering snow. I thought, if the year ends while the fire blazes, it will be as exciting as never before. We could be there when a real Chanupa came into our group.
I felt like Anja. Put back into a time, to a place and within a group of people where you could not get around the feeling, that you are within a dream…
The fairy said: “I have brought three imps from my home town. They have the great desire to relate a new home, one with decorations made of natural material. They would be very happy, if they were needed.”
The first person I had in mind was Anja – even if the story seemed strange to me. After all, I could not see any of these three imps. The fairy continued to say, “One of the imps has already found a new place. He’s already sitting on the shoulder of his new housekeeper.”
Silence. Tension.
Although the mood showed, that the everyday people, who were present, had no idea if the others were all crazy or not, I felt that everyone would like to take home such an imp.
The fairy asked: “Can you see him?”
She looked into the round as she always did when she was watched. She made herself small, much smaller than she really was and laughed embarrassed. Whether or not the goblin actually existed or not, the feeling that someone would be there for her would surely please her.
The fire vanished slowly and when the everyday world threatened to catch up with us again and made us believe to be who we were now and to do what we were asked, we drove home.
There was a long silence in the car.
At some point, Anja said:”Do you really believe, I have an imp, now?”
I heard myself answer: “Did you see the woman who told you that you now have one? If she says so, it’ll be like that.”
After a while the imp quickly disappeared from my thoughts. A few weeks after the evening on the fire my phone rang. On the other side, an excited voice said:
“You do not believe it! You can not imagine what happened!”
In seconds, all the scenarios that corresponded to the sound situation were running in my head: Her husband was not nice to her again, her younger daughter had dyed her hair blue or someone attacked her beauty salon and stole all of the money.
“Better tell me, what happened…”
“Nikki! My imp! He sat on my bedroom window this morning!”
Silence.
“Are you kidding me?” I replied completely surprised.
“Why? If the fairy says such stuff it will be so, or not?”
I fell into the same excited mood and heard me, my voice now a few pitches higher, say: “And? Does he wear a cap? What color is his clothing? What did he say?”
Silence. The tone of the answer was rather low, the speed of her voice was more slowly, and the breathing normalized.
“He’s… black and white. He dangles with his legs and looks at me. I think that is wonderful!”
She sounded relieved, like she would be infinitely grateful that there really was this little imp. No expectation about what he was or what he could do. Only that he was there, already fulfilled her with joy. Several weeks passed again. Suddenly, my phone rang again… A screaming voice, that told me:
“Hey, Nikki, my imp! My imp! He is now wearing green trousers! ”
The telephone conversation became more hysterical and the volume audibly increased: “Oh, yeahhhh! That’s wonderful! Does he speak?”
With a sharp, clear and powerful tone, she replied:
“Why do you think everyone and everything has to speak? You can be without words!”
Ok. Who is this? Speechlessness. Who am I?
Telephone calls of this kind were repeated in the next few weeks and the life of Anja changed at a furious speed… because she changed. I felt. that she lived her life the first time without thinking about what others might think of her. In the coming year, the imp not only had green trousers, but now he also had a yellow sweater, a red cap, and started sitting around on several different places in her house. In the living room, in the kitchen or in the hallway. And even her dog had perceived him and was very much pleased with him. And Anja decided to invest less working hours per week in the coming year. She began to fall in love again, despite a decade-long marriage. But she had a lot of doubts. Ethic and moral sat right and left of her on the shoulder and reminded her that she had once sealed a bond for life and that made her act unfree – at least in her head.
She did not see her imp for a long time. Days, weeks, months passed. She suppressed her desire to go, like she did in the last years. And she suppressed him, even though she knew there was someone, who would have received her with open arms. I could not understand her anymore. She had everything she wanted. A dog, a man who caught her and freedom to do what she wanted – and yet she did not. She had built up a border. A limit, that did not allow her to jump over her own shadow. So she stayed and so she remained a victim of her own limitations.
It is May. The telephone rang. Anja sounded rather said: “My imp was there! He stood in the corridor and was angry, because someone had not closed the front door properly. And suddenly I saw him. He was standing in the doorway, holding a brown suitcase in his hand. He looked like he wanted to leave the house forever… He turned to me and then he suddenly disappeared. What should I do now?”
I could not develop compassion at the moment. She had given herself so many days and weeks to her self-pity. I did not want to hear it all.
“Yes, even your imp moved out!” I said to her. “He does not care, how you feel about it. But he rather liked it to go, because he did not fell well, instead of staying for your sake.”
I just hang up the call. She did not speak to me about her feelings for the next few weeks.
It was late May. I was visiting Anja. The atmosphere of the house was oppressive, like someone pressed his heavy hand against my chest. I stood at the living room window and let the sun shine in my face. Hopefully she hurried, I’d rather like to walk with the dog than stay here longer.
Then I heard murmurs, steps, doors. Open. Close. Going upstairs. Going downstairs. My feeling right now was similar to that just before an important exam you have not learned for. The time started feeling really fast. I was not looking for the reason. The sun was shining on my back. Anja stood before me. I’ve never seen her like that. She seemed to be gathering all her feelings and her facial expressions at the same time in her face.
“I told him I fell in love again,” explained Anja.
“And?”
“He said, he already knew that. It was time for me to finally say it. Now he’s gone.”
Silence.
“Good!” I said. “And where do we go for a walk?”
Our day was marked by silence. The sudden decision to do something that had been pushed away for such a long time long had helped both of us to no longer thinking. The coming months were characterized by moving out, expansion and the adventure of the new. Her younger daughter could take advantage of having parents who are seperateds and thus always got what she wanted. Her new husband suddenly had a family and her dog a new companion. Anja now had the chance to enter a new partnership. For the first time, I had been able to consciously observe how much a single decision can change several lives.
It was September. My telephone rang. With a fast and loud voice someone said:
“My imp! My imp! He is sitting on our bedroom window!”
The imp came back! As it appears, the imp had not left her, but had just moved into the new apartment already…”
~.~
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